Tui

Janish ki tui, tui bolte bhalo lage na toke,

Tui ki sudhui bondhu hobi? Tai boli tobe…

Toke dekhe abar amar khelte ichche kore,

Bhul korbo ami, tui hasbi jore jore…

Janbi na sei bhul er kone ache chotto kotha,

Tor hashir kolorobe, bhulechi shei byatha

Gali galaj, kil choR, kichui to nei baki,

Sob bhule tor hashitukui aajke tule rakhi.

Tui bhabchish boka ami, kichui bujhi na

Tor chokhe je muchki alo, setao dekhina,

Toder ekon demak koto, ki na tora janish…

Amar je aaj sondhye ekhon, amay ki aar manish?

Onek fagun aage, tor i moton she o,

Take ami lukhiyechulam khatar shesh patay,

Hariye jaoa koshto gulo bhiR koreche mone,

Jani tui o hariye jabi, kichuta poth aar,

khub ki rege jabi? jodi alto kore dhori?

chotto je tor hath ta boro, tui o choto aroi

tobe jokhon kothin chokhe shashon korish amay

janish ki tui? bhoy pai na, ador mone ghonay..

tobu kyano toke ami amar moton kore

sajiye rakhi chokher bhitor, moner ondhokare?

janish na to, toke ami bosiyechi aaj pashe,

janbio na, monta amar tokei bhalobashe.

e ki, tui je hath ta boddo jorei dhore achish?

plan ta ki? aaj bikele royei jabi naki?

dekhi to tor chokh duto, ki ache tor mone?

ore, e je amar kotha, bhashche kone kone

tui i tobe bujhli amar naa gaoa sob gaan,

tui i tobe guchiye dili kolpona khan khan

chotobyalaye hariyechilam toke khyalar mathe,

boro hoyeo chotto hobo aaj ami tor sathe.

Playlist

1. Kuch Naa Kaho- Do I need to justify this? Kumar Sanu at his best. It had everything. From R.D Burman,to the flowing white dress, to pearls, to colourful clouds, to a swing..man!! Its symbolic as to why love stories these days fail...we just talk too much. The solution is to just shut up and sing. And of course, pearls :)

2. Chu Kar Mere Mann ko- This is what mature love stories are made of. Just a piano. And a slight content smile. On second thoughts, I think I have a serious outdoor problem. Notice how my songs are all indoors with very little props. hmmm...

3. Tujhe Dekha To Yeh- Yayy!! I am onto the sarso ka khets now. This song is an anthem. Atleast for my generations.There was a time when any guy who could play this on guitar would be cool. No? Oh, well...for me atleast. There was something about SRK-Kajol. There still is. I will even tolerate Karan Johar if he re-creates this.

4. Yeh Raatein Yeh Mausam- Kishore Kumar. Nutan. Black and White. I can sing this song even when there is no nadi ka kinara and no chanchal hawa... I love it. Aha...inspite of the stabbing heartaches, it makes me want to feel the glory of love. Again and again. "Mohabbat jawan ho, khula aasman ho, kare koi dil aarzu aur kya?" Hai na??

5. Pehla Nasha- Ting ting ting ting, tiri ring ting ting ting.. :) Such cuteness. and Aamir Khan. Its no wonder then, everytime i have a crush, I sing it in my mind, and convince myself, that this indeed is the pehla time. what happened before was rubbish.The confidence, the optimism, the de-coding of every word, every touch... Oh, when will my serious pehla pehla time come???? and I hate that girl in red. Bitch.

6. O Hansini- Ranbir Kapoor's dad is way cuter than him.Even in a funny shirt and a weird moustache. It has a guy chasing girl feel to it. Which is rare nowadays no? Call me conservative, but some things should be old world. It also gently reminds you, sabr ka phal....meetha hai ya namkeen, baad mein batana :P.

7. Rimjhim Gire Saawan- Come on, I had to include a rain song. In Bombay. On Marine Drive. I personally need no more reason to love the song, but Lata Mangeshkar, and of course, the height difference of the couple make it even lovelier. And never after this, have sulagna of the mann been portrayed so innocently.

8. Tu Hi Re- Romantic? Sad? What difference? Proof that a heroine,all covered, and a hero, pot bellied, can also sell a movie. No one sings like this anymore. But then, no one feels too. I love you Rehman.

9. Do Dil Mil Rahe Hai- There was time before youtube. It was called FM Radio. Every time this song was aired, i would abandon everything else at hand. aivai...no reason. The one song that has never ever been deleted from my playlist. It will never be. Because most of my love stories begin and end at this stage. chupke chupke. Sigh!

10. Tere Mere Sapne- I hate Dev Anand. I dont really like Md. Rafi. But the promise of togertherness in the song makes up for it. tere dukh ab mere, mere sukh ab tere... damn it. I am hopeless. But i sereously wanna give Mr. Anand a haircut. Ugh.

11. Tumse Milke, Aisa Laga Tumse Milke- If you point a gun at my head, and ask me to sing, this it what will come out. I sing it randomly, in the shower, during exams, while cooking. What a simple declaration of feelings. All the guys who have a problem with expressing their so called emotions, should take a bath and learn this by heart. Jerks.

12. Ek Dooje Ke Waste- A lesser known song of Dil To Pagal Hai. I thought the song was bullshit, untill a friend, who knows the romantic in me, pestered me into hearing it, on a trip to Hyderabad. All because she was in love. Or so we thought. She moved on to other guys, but left me the song. Thanks :)

13. Ab Naa Jaa- Euphoria. Palash Sen. Dr. Palash Sen. I was 16 when this song came out. And i remember writing down the lyrics at the back of my organic chemstry notebook, and learning it by heart on my way home. . I still remember the song. Obviously, I remember nothing of organic chemistry.Hihihi...Have encountered numerous ocassions when i could have sung it. I did not.

14. Awaaz Do Humko- Who would think of Sanjay Dutt and Romance in the same vein if not for this song eh? The urgency is infectious. I.Have.To.Do.Something. Abhi. Nahi to Kabhi Nahi.

15. Ae, Kya Bolti Tu?- Who says romance has to be delicate? and white and flowers. Blah. It is also for the bravehearted who can conjure up a date just like that, in a song. And imagine the guts that takes to call the girl you wanna woo, as "Aeee...Kya Bolti Tu?" I would probably answer," Paka Mat, Rascal". But then, not everyone is Miss Mukherji. :)

Dadu

Why is it that you miss some people,when they have long ceased to be a part of your life, and the moment you think you are oblivious to their absence, they rip right through your memory and stare at you in the face? Why?

I miss the stench of oil that surrounded him, the blackish lines in his teeth that marred an otherwise sweet smile, the innumerous stories of the Sunderbans, the back brushed hair that even at 85, had much much more black, than grey, the sweets stolen from Maa's kitchen that we would share in stealth, the lengthy discussions on Ganguly, the dancing to ek, do, teen, when no one was around, watching cheap, ridiculous bengali movies just for the laughs...oh we had a lot of fun. The absence of a sibling never mattered.

But most of all, I miss the consolation. Of being accepted the way I am.

I am sick and tired and mind numbingly frustrated with having to deal with two facedness and pretence and not understanding what I should say, how I should say it, who I should say it too. The hypocrisy of the last few months are turning me into the cynic I don't want to be. I want to shut myself in a room and not breathe a word to anyone for the fear of being misread. Argh !!!

I miss being a child. The simplicity and the innocence. Where what you saw was, was. Today, we have a lot of choices. And the calculation of what to choose is killing the fun in life. There is too much importance of what who will feel, how they will react, what they will say when you turn away. What is the bloody point in having a friend, when you cannot show them your faults?

Adulthood, to hell with you. I dont give a rat's ass.

Come back, Dadu. Please.