Didibhai

Jokhon ami choto chilam, tokhon chotobyala ta i onnyo rokom chilo. Wii chilo na, video game er remote niye kaRakaRi chilo na, iPhone e app download kora niye mathabyatha chilo na, facebook e ke kar pechone bNash dilo, ta niye jolpona chilo na. tokhon chilo janla-r grill e mukh rekhe brishti khaoa, pNipRe gulo exactly kothar theke kothae jachche, sei rohoshyo bhed kora, Baba-r bajaar theke ana jilipi gulo lukiye lukiye sabaR kora, chaat e bolta-r chaak bhaNgar durdhorsho obhigyota school e ektu baRiye bola, math e lukochuri khelte khelte eksomoy sottyi hariye jaoa, stage e uthe duruduru bNuke prothom gaan gaoa, Dadu-ke ghush diye gujiya anano, aar Maa-r saree-r odbhut ghemo gondho ta diye nijeke sobar theke bNachiye rakha...

aar chilo didibhai. amar cheye matro 4 mash boRo, tobu take ekdin Tumpa bolate she obhimaan kore bolechilo, "Bonu, tui aar amake bhalobashish na, tai na?" :) jai hok, onek boRo byala porjonto she i chilo amar ekmatro khyalar sathi. bagan theke boRo boRo pata beche niye asha, putul er biye deoa, mach ta khabona bole or paat e chalan kore deoa, saree poRa sekha, scale diye pitiye pitiye bichana balish ke o baddhwo chatro banano, cheleder prothombar onnyo chokhe dyakha theke tader kii kore shayesta kora jaye...sob khyala i tar sathe.

she dheere dheere boRo hoyeche. bodleche. amar songe songei. she tar moton hoyeche, ami amar moton. kintu somporko ta thik chotobyalatei roye gyache. o brishti te bhije 7 baar "Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai" dekhte gyache, masher por mash roga howar jonno muRi kheye katiyeche, teen te cheler kontake "hNya" bola jete pare, tai niye raat bhor amar songe bedom discussion chaliyeche, bus er conductor take ki sundor dekhte aar she hero hole kotoi na bhalo hoto, just seta bolar jonno ISD koreche, ojana ek chele-r dukhkho dekhe nijer sona-r chain, baRite lukiye bikri kore diyeche, ice cream khete khete biyer somoy kon bag ta kinle sobtheke beshi gift bhora jabe, tai niye chulochuli koreche, amar Maa ke pray amar moton i bhalobesheche.

take bhalobashar karon oporishim, kintu sei karongulo chaRa o ami take bhalobashi!

kichudin pore tar biye. amar didi ta kyamon thakbe, kothaye jabe, kar songe kii bhabe thakbe, hoyto ami janbo, kintu tar mon-er ogunti bhabna, bhoy, proshno ki ekhoner moton i amar kache bina dwidha e pNouchate parbe? ke jane? khobor ta shonar por theke ami take phone o korini, kichu boli o ni. she raag korechilo. obviously. kintu kii bolbo? je amar chotobyala r ekmatro shathi aaj hothath boRo hoye jachche? je hoyto soNgsar er niyom e tar aar amar akash jhot kore bodle jabe? je she amader chaRa aaro ekta baRi-r meye hoye jabe kichudin por? parbe? o to ekhono amar i moton choto :(

didibhai re, amar ekhon thekei kanna pachche je...khub bhalo thakis!

Pochonder Maapkathi

Kichudin holo baRi te phone korle sudhu ekta i kotha. Baba ta aage bhalo chilo, ekhon se o buRo boyeshe, aar kauke pashe na dekhe, tar bou er suur e suur miliyeche. Tumpa, boRopishi, mejokaka, sobai phone kore. tader ekta i jiggyashsho.

"hnyare, kobe biye korbi?"

chinta r kotha. kobe-r proshno to tokhon othe jokhon kake-r uttor jana thake. aar seta jana thakle, ei mishti modhur badla din e ki aar ami boshe boshe blog likhtam? khub kothin shomoshya. ashe pashe, ba ektu duure, je chelegulo ache, tader songe dinner e jaoa jaye, ghum na ashle, raatbhor adda mara jaye, emonki khub sahosh kore Grudge-2 o dyakha jaye. kintu bibaho? noibo noibo cho!

Se besh hashi khushi hobe. ektu norom norom mon, ektu bhola bhala, besh boka prithibi-r rokom sokom bojhe, kintu care kore na. je tar nijer banano duniya te nijer moton kore khushi thake. je kono din i amar dike byanger hashi, ba kothin chokh niye takaye na. je tar kacher manush der jonno onek koshto shojjo kore, kintu mukh e eboNg mon e tar resh poRte dey na. je niirobe dukhkho paye, kintu tate ki hoyeche bole chokh muche fyale. je protidin sokale, aager raat er bishaad bhule jete pare nimeshe. je tar moner nibhrito ashonka, odhikkar er sathe amar upor chapiye dey, je tar somosto bishshash er sathe amake eka cheRe dey, je amar ohetuk bayna, gobhir shashone bNedhe rakhte pare, je amar beshuro gaan shune khya khya kore hashe, kintu chup korte bole na, je tar jiboner obhiggota diye amar protidiner bhoy ke shanto korte pare. je din raat amar upor snigdho chhaya hoye thake.

jake dekhe amar ekta kotha i mone hoy. "o ekdom amar maayer moton."

karur sondhane thakle bolo.

"onek koshto kore jokhon chaabi khNuje pelam, tala ta i hariye gyalo."

pantaloons er ekta shirt e.

Duto Faltu Kotha

sobai ekhon bolche, are kauke bhalo lagle oto bhoy paoar kii ache, jhot kore bole dilei hoy. chotobyala theke kintu shune aschi cheleder songe kotha bolte nei.

I guess ami boRo hoye gechi.

kalke ekjon amake bollo, je jyamon dhor aam. tui nischoi "amar aam bhalo lage" kotha ta bolar aage khub ekta beshi bhabish na. tahole ekta chele ke niye eto problem kyano? take o bina dwidha e bole deoa jaye je "ki korbo boss bhalo lege gyache, kichu korar nei ". ami kichu bolini. kintu mathay e ekta kotha i ghurchilo.

aam er jodi kotha bolar khomota thakto, aar aam jodi chailei, "tui khub bhalo meye kintu ami thik toke pochondo korte parchi na, tui please amay khash na " kotha ta bole, amay chokher poloke reject korte parto, tahole hoy to ami jibone aam er proti o amar bhalobasha prokash kortam na.

bhagyish aam er ei handicap tuku ache, ki bolo?

For Viewing Pleasure!

There is nothing sexier than a bengali man!

Hence Proved!

A memory

It was a very crucial day. Our standard eighth results were going to be declared. But more than that, we would find out if our friends remained with us in the same class. "Shuffling" was, back then, the most feared word. Indrani calls me up, and sweet that she is, proceeds to tell me in her sing song voice.." You know whaaaat, aaaal the classes have been maintained, only section E has been shuffled". There, that moment, that was it.

Section E was very different. Very important. Very hep. It was a hybrid between the first boy and the naughtiest. It had the coolest class teacher. It had my then raging crush. But more importantly, it had DV. We had fought with teachers to let us sit together, we had gossip sessions every thursday afternoon after school, on the terrace attic, where weekly post mortem would be made of every word said, every look exchanged, every feeling felt....as if talking through every damn period, five days a week was not enough.

DV was my best friend then. In some unknown, intutioned way, she was the only one in school who always got what i said, and more importantly, what i did not. She understood my erratic mood swings, my continuous bad temper, my irritably faulty logic, my anal desire to be "always right"...and accepted me the way I am. But thats not the reason I loved her. I did, because I did. Simple. I hated that she was obsessed about her hair, that she was too girlish at times, that she always had to argue and put me in my place, but being her friend came so naturally ....we were the two most different individuals there ever could be, but there you go...

And so, being separated from her was unthinkable. Hell, if she came late for assembly, I would freak out, forget not being in the same class for a year !! We even considered mollifying the Principal, that if she wanted good results, she should definitely consider putting us back where we belonged. But this was in 2002, and a lot has happened since then...

Times change. People change even faster. I hardly talk to her once a month now. But think of her, I do. Very very often. Whenever I run into probable troubles with the other, more prominent parts of my life. And with me, thats not very rare :) But most interestingly, whenever I meet her, I feel not a day has lapsed. That we are back again, she still as passionate about whatever she is passionate about, me, still wondering what exactly it is that I am passionate about...

A lot has changed. But after a decade, we are, in a very weirdly, far away, twisted way, still the same. Love you leech ;)

Bhalobashar Gaan

Gaan gulo bhalobasha hole pore shone, na ki shunle bhalobashte ichche kore, na ki gaan gulo ke i bhalobeshe shone, seta thik clear noy. kintu jokhon mon kyamon kore, aar aajkalporshu-r gaan shuneo mon bhalo howar konoi lokkhon dyakha jay na, tokhon ei gaan gulo shuni. shune mon kyamon to beRei jaye, jotto rajjyer na paoa dukkho bhiR kore ashe...tobu shuni. oi mon kyamon ta amar boRoi prio! thik gaan gulor moton...

1. majhe majhe tobo dyakha pai, chirodin kyano pai ne?- kyanoki boss, ku jhik jhik theke shuru kore, uDo jahaj, chapte chaile dher khanik gyater poysa khorcha korte hoy. poysa hole tobu ekta kotha chilo, dollar khoroch korata ektu iye, baRabaRi....na ki? tar upor luggage harale to aar kothai nei.

2. ami tomar shonge bNedhechi amaro pran- kintu tumi jano nai. ki aar kora jabe? tumi erokom asto ekta gobet seta to jana chilo na. tahole onno kothao byabosta kora i jeto. aar gaan chaRa kichu diye ki praN adou bNadha jaye? kobita? boddo beshi aNtel hoye jabe na? ekei kichu bojhe na...

3. mor bhabonare ki haowa-e matalo- katrina na..na...ei jaah aar naam mone porche na. kintu je haowa i hok na kyano, tolpaR kore chaRbe, guarantee dilam. ek mash por dekhbe bank account kha kha, poRar boi e dhulo, restaurant e kheye kheye pet e chorbi, bondhu mohol e jogajog bichchinno...

4. amar mon mane na- mon er aar dosh ki? gtalk e chat kore kore samne dyakhar jotoi basona jaguk na kyano, amar desher mati onek duur, tai sudhu majhe majhei dyakha, tai mon kharap, sekhan theke binge eating, tay ojon bridhdhi...golmele toxic cycle ekebare...

5. ami tomar prem e hobo sobar kolonkobhagi- tai hote hobe. because, soja kotha, bhaag korar moton aar kisui nei. ek khana baRi, tate pishi mashi kaka sobai ekotrito hoye kutkochali korche, baganer aam hoy honuman, noyto danpite chele, eder chara karur kopalei jutche na, boRo mach ta gublur baba ke na diye of course gublu ke i dite hobe.....sutoraNg tomar kopale kolonko chaRa kichui nei sonamoni.

6. amar hiya-r majhe lukiechile- kyano he? amar roNo murti ke bhoy peyechile bujhi? bhoy peo na bhoy peo na, tomay ami marbona. sudhu kal 17 khana misscall dilam, 5 ta voicemail, emonki goyendagiri kore jante parlam oi gaye pora meyeta-r songe "kites" dekhte gechile? bod meye, tay bod cinema!!! lukono chaRa aar goti kii bolo?

7. biroho modhur holo aji- taxi-r poysa nei. no problem. atleast riksha e haowa khaoate paro. ta na, bhiR bus e thele othalo. tha tha kora dupur-e uni victoria e chine badam khete khete amar dike du baar, aar onyanno romoNider dike ponchash baar takaben, cinema hall e bipasha basu-r cheRa genji dekhe jibh diye tokas tokas kore jhol poRbe. ei obosthay-e biroho boRoi modhur...

8. ami ruup-e tomay bholabona- sala tomar kotha bhebei adha chul peke gyalo. tomar songe raat bhor chat korei chokh er neech kalo chaap, sara mukh bron na phuskuri, kiser jyano stamp mara, din ke din sob kota jeans tight hoye jachche, ruup er aar baki ache ki, je bholabo. and what do you mean by bholabo? gyanoto obostha te i srichoron khana niye esho na baap, eto dhong kiser?

9. diboso rojonii ami jyano kar ashay ashay thaki- self respect ta ke ekta botol e bhore bhashiye diyechi to, tai. sara din phone ta ki bajlo, nirghat ekta message eseche, thak phone ta rekhe ektu hNete ashi, jokhon beje jabe, dhorbo na tokhon bujhbe koto dhaan e koto chaal. kintu nope, phone niirob. tokhon aar ki, kaan er matha kheye nijei phone othao. number dial koro, "dhur ami kyano baar baar korbo" bole kete dao. abar othao...chaliye jao!

10. haye bhiiru prem, haye re- eta niye aar byango korte parlam na jano. ei bhoy ei to sob gyalo. bhalobasha, bhalobashar kotha, kauke bojhate, bolte, eto bhoy lage kyano? eta to nischoi sunte karur i kharap lagbe na? tobu, amra jhogRa kori heRe golay, othocho bhalobashi kori fishfish kore. prem sottyi bhiiru, ta moddhobitto hok, aar na hok.

Robi thakur- ami sure tomar moner kotha aar keu na bujhuk, ami bujhboi. ami nischit, tomar prem e jorjorito hridoy tahar sukomol pododhoni suniya, tahake bahu pashe joRaiya, tahar kompito oshtadhar chumbon korite byakul hoiia uthito..na chai, tumio byata amar i moton frustu chile :D

P.S- Please keu kichu mone koro na. RobindroSongeet amar cheye beshi khub kom lok i bhalobashe.

Instructioned

I have many bad habits. One of them, is wanting to do everything I know I cant. Cutting a pineapple features on that list.

Like I said before, I love the fruit. But cannot in my dreams, imagine cutting it with the flimsy kitchen knife. How my room mate manages it, I hardly know, but I am beyond such achievements. But, eating it, is another matter altogether. I look at the small, neat cubes, sprinkled with white salt and sugar crystals, the juice dripping down one side, and I cant wait to pop it in my mouth, bite into the tangy flesh, fighting the urge to have more.

I wondered what I would do with the one in my bag, as the rumi was absent, and no one to teach me the nitty gritties of maneuvering a pineapple. I came back. Changed into war gear, clutched the knife in my hand, and opened the bag, half expecting it to throw its brazen edges at me. And it lay there, with its green, overgrown crown, its yellowish brown, pockmarked skin, ready to be murdered.

And tied innocently to its neck, was a white card, with pineapple cutting instructions on it. Step wise, with pictures.

A good night was had by me.

If only the rest of my life would be similar. Instructioned. Easy.